MENTAL HEALTH

Days 10 - 13

Mindfulness Practice

Be Mindful But Detached

The opposite of ruminating is mindfulness. You'll recall that rumination is a mental state characterized by repetitive and obsessive thoughts that focus on negative emotions, experiences, or worries. It's like getting stuck in a mental rut, replaying the same thoughts over and over without finding solutions or moving on. Mindfulness, on the other hand, is a state where we observe our thought stream passively, like in the minutes before we fall asleep. We don’t do anything with the thoughts – we just observe them. The goal of mindfulness is not to have an empty mind or to have fewer thoughts, instead, its goal is to be intensely aware of what you're sensing and feeling in the moment. We have up to 70,000 thoughts in a day. We cannot limit them, but we can avoid doing anything with them. Many of us find it very difficult to have thoughts and to do nothing with them. One of the exercises which can help us to explore the state of being detached from our thoughts is known as the Tiger Exercise.

Start by thinking about a tiger. Really imagine what it looks like in detail so that you can see the tiger in front of you. With the tiger in the front of your mind, it takes up the space of other thoughts. Next, release control of the image; observe the tiger thought passively and see what happens. Perhaps the tiger will stay standing, or sitting, there; perhaps it will move around; perhaps it will disappear altogether. Regardless of what it does, you can release your control over the thought and leave it be. If you do not try to make it disappear nor to stay, you will find that the tiger moves of its own accord.

The exercise shows that thoughts have their own lives if we observe them passively. This applies both to our imaginary tiger and to a thought like: ‘Am I good enough?’

This may sound difficult but rest assured that everyone is capable of detaching from their thoughts. For most of us, we are detached from our thoughts most of the time. Think back to the thoughts that you had a few days ago on, say, Tuesday. Can you remember them? What became of the thought about what you should have for your evening meal?

If you dive into your stream of thought, you will discover that the majority of the thousands of thoughts you think each day just continue to move along, like trains in a station. Who decides whether a thought is important or unimportant? Does the thought itself do this? No, of course not. Thoughts have no consciousness. They don’t know whether they are important trigger thoughts or not. The thought ‘maybe the TV programme is upsetting’ doesn’t know that it is less important than ‘I am worried about ending up alone and lonely’. We make that evaluation. We are the masters of our own minds and responsible for the thoughts that we dwell on.

Picture a sushi restaurant's conveyor belt right in front of you. A salmon maki, an avocado roll and a fried prawn move towards us; do we have control over which items we reach out for and which we just observe and let pass us by? Yes, we do. It is the same with our stream of thought. Thoughts come and go. Sometimes the same thought will come by many times. We can choose just to observe it and let it pass us by on the belt. The more we practise, the more experience we will have of detaching from our thoughts. And the more we experience detachment, the more we will believe that we have control over our ruminations.

How to Become Good at Just Observing?

Let’s do an exercise in observing thoughts. Settle yourself down and just allow all the thoughts that come into your head to be there–without dwelling on them. Just observe the thoughts. You will perhaps discover that thoughts are fleeting, that there are pauses and gaps in your thought stream, or that thoughts have their own life. It is very common to have thoughts such as ‘Why am I not having any thoughts?’ and ‘What a boring exercise’. It is also common to have thoughts which have nothing to do with the exercise, such as ‘What shall I do this evening?’ ‘Why didn’t my boss say anything about my work yesterday?’ ‘When will I clean out my closet?’

Thought streams flow away, and one subject replaces another if you don’t choose to fixate and let yourself be carried away in the stream. Attention can become erratic when you practice this exercise – one minute you are focused on the coffee on the table, and the next minute you are listening to the cars driving by in the street. This is completely normal.

Now, vary the exercise by swapping between ruminating about the problems troubling you, and just observing the thoughts about your problems. This can happen in the following way:

1) First, fill your head with trigger thoughts (thoughts that cause emotional pain and suffering), and for two minutes dive down into the thoughts about which you feel most strongly. Really explore them in great detail.

2) Then, release the trigger thoughts and use the next two minutes just to observe your thoughts. You should avoid following any of them but instead, should just let them be.

You may practice changing several times between ruminating and being mindfully detached; it is like getting on and off a train again and again. After the exercise, pay attention to what you noticed and whether you can feel the difference between when you’re ruminating and when you’re detached.

Many people will describe a big difference – that during the two minutes when they ruminate about trigger thoughts, they think more and more, become sad and stressed, and get a knot in their stomach. The sadness and stress reduce correspondingly over the two minutes of mindfulness.

From: Live More Think Less by Pia Callesen (Chapter 3)

Everyone Can Learn to Detach Their Attention

Video Introduction

Meditation - Changing Perspectives (1 minute)

Why Mindfulness Is a Superpower (3 minutes)

Mindfulness For Beginners

Mindfulness is the quality of being present and fully engaged with whatever we’re doing at the moment — free from distraction or judgment, and aware of our thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them. We train in this moment-to-moment awareness through mindfulness meditation, allowing us to build the skill of mindfulness so that we can then apply it to everyday life. In teaching the mind to be present, we are teaching ourselves to live more mindfully — in the present, taking a breath, not beholden to reactive thoughts and feelings — which is particularly helpful when faced with challenging circumstances or difficult situations.

Mindfulness is a natural quality that we all have. It’s available to us in every moment if we take the time to appreciate it. When we practice mindfulness, we’re practicing the art of creating space for ourselves—space to think, space to breathe, space between ourselves and our reactions.

What You Need to Know Before Practicing Mindfulness:

1) You don’t need to buy anything. You can practice anywhere, there’s no need to go out and buy a special cushion or bench—all you need is to devote a little time and space to accessing your mindfulness skills every day. 5 minutes is a perfect starting point.

2) There’s no way to quiet your mind. That’s not the goal here. There’s no bliss state or otherworldly communion. All you’re trying to do is pay attention to the present moment, without judgment. Sounds easy, right?

3) Your mind will wander. As you practice paying attention to what’s going on in your body and mind at the present moment, you’ll find that many thoughts arise. Your mind might drift to something that happened yesterday, meander to your to-do list—your mind will try to be anywhere but where you are. But the wandering mind isn’t something to fear, it’s part of human nature and it provides the magic moment for the essential piece of mindfulness practice—the piece that researchers believe leads to healthier, more agile brains: the moment when you recognize that your mind has wandered. Because if you can notice that your mind has wandered, then you can consciously bring it back to the present moment.

The more you do this, the more likely you are to be able to do it again and again. And that beats walking around on autopilot any day (ie: getting to your destination without remembering the drive, finding yourself with your hand in the bottom of a chip bag you only meant to snack a little from, etc.).

4) Your judgy brain will try to take over. The second part of the puzzle is the “without judgment” part. We’re all guilty of listening to the critic in our heads a little more than we should. (That critic has saved us from disaster quite a few times.) But, when we practice investigating our judgments and diffusing them, we can learn to choose how we look at things and react to them. When you practice mindfulness, try not to judge yourself for whatever thoughts pop up. Notice judgments arise, make a mental note of them (some people label them “thinking”), and let them pass, recognizing the sensations they might leave in your body, and letting those pass as well.

5) It’s all about returning your attention again and again to the present moment. It seems like our minds are wired to get carried away in thought. That’s why mindfulness is the practice of returning, again and again, to the breath. We use the sensation of the breath as an anchor to the present moment. And every time we return to the breath, we reinforce our ability to do it again. Call it a bicep curl for your brain.

How to Practice Mindfulness

While mindfulness might seem simple, it’s not necessarily all that easy. The real work is to make time every day to just keep doing it. Here’s a short practice to get you started:

1) Take a seat. Find a place to sit that feels calm and quiet to you. A comfy chair is perfect.

2) Set a time limit. If you’re just beginning, it can help to choose a short time, such as 5 or 10 minutes.

3) Notice your body. You can sit in a chair with your feet on the floor, you can sit loosely cross-legged, in lotus posture, you can kneel—all are fine. Just make sure you are stable and in a position you can stay in for a while.

4) Feel your breath. Follow the sensation of your breath as it goes in and as it goes out.

5) Notice when your mind has wandered. Inevitably, your attention will leave the sensations of the breath and wander to other places. When you get around to noticing this—in a few seconds, a minute, five minutes—simply return your attention to the breath.

6) Be kind to your wandering mind. Don’t judge yourself or obsess over the content of the thoughts you find yourself lost in. Just come back.

That’s it! That’s the practice. You go away, you come back, and you try to do it as kindly as possible.

From: Mindful.org

Homework

There are many ways to practice mindfulness. You can focus on your breath, do a body scan, try mindful walking, or sit quietly and observe an image or object. What they all have in common is a non-judgmental awareness of your internal states (mental and physical) and your external surroundings. As you continue practicing cognitive defusion and self-compassion, integrate mindfulness meditation into your daily routine for the next four days, even if it's just for 5 minutes a day.

While it may be tempting to listen to recorded meditations accompanied by music and guided imagery, it's advisable to avoid them. These distractions can hinder your ability to fully immerse yourself in the present moment and observe your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. Instead, direct your attention to experience the richness of the present moment without external influences. And remember, mindfulness practice can be difficult, be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion if you find yourself struggling with it.

Here are some guided mindfulness meditations to help you get started:

Mindfulness of the Breath: Guided Meditation Practices with Jon Kabat Zinn (10 minutes)

Guided Meditation: Coming Home with the Breath with Tara Brach (15 minutes)

Breathing Meditation for Beginners with Jack Kornfield (10 minutes)

Daily Calm - 10 Minute Mindfulness Meditation (10 minutes)

Optional Creative Activity

Mindful Observation Drawing

Supplies Needed: Paper, pencil, eraser, or any drawing tools you prefer.

Choose an object from your surroundings and spend 5-10 minutes observing it closely, paying attention to its texture, colour, shape, and any details you may not have noticed before. After your mindful observation, create a drawing of the object, focusing on capturing its essence rather than making it perfect. Allow your attention to stay on the object, not on any judgments or distractions that arise. This exercise will help integrate mindfulness into your creative process, encouraging you to engage with the present moment in a non-judgmental way.